Blog Tour & Excerpt: ‘The Sales Crime Policeman’ by David J. Rollins

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Science Fiction / Humor / Romance
Date Published: November 19, 2013

Purchase Links: Amazon | Amazon UK

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Sales Crime Policeman  CoverBook Description:

The future is no place to fall in love.
Amazing advances in technology have all but replaced relationships. People can purchase spouses programmed to their individual tastes and desires, anything from an aversion to expensive guilt gifts to perfumed flatulence. Attachments are even available for the more discriminating customers. Anyone can have anyone they want, as long as they don’t want someone who looks like someone else. That’s against the law. It could also make things a little awkward at social events.

For one man, technology is not enough. He is a Telepathic Vacuum Cleaner Salesperson Policeman, and he wants to fall in love with a real woman. Like most men, he is not perfect. He has no name. He had to give up that up when he became a policeman. He is terribly afraid of roller coasters. And he doesn’t have any attachments.

When he finds the woman of his dreams, she is not what he expected. Like most women, she doesn’t feel the same way about him. She has a spouse certified to be her perfect mate. And she is in prison. The policeman had her arrested, because she is one of the most wanted criminals in his world.
Now, the policeman has to choose between everything he is and everything he wants.
The future is no place to fall in love.

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Author Pic 1About the Author:

David J. Rollins is a paralegal by day, husband by night, and sometimes finds time to write. As a young man, he had had different plans, but that’s the way life works out most of the time.

David has been writing since Seventh Grade. He started with the adventures of Super Pimp and his sidekick Squirt. His hero was Philip K. Dick, who strangely enough did not write about things like Pimps and Squirts. Like any fan, David wanted to follow in his hero’s footsteps. Unlike most fans, he wanted to follow them even after finding out that his hero, at one point in his life, was so poor that he resorted to eating dog food. What David lacked in aspirations, he made up for in determination.

From those humble beginnings, David became the man he is today. He is happier than he ever thought he would be and is living a life he never imagined in his wildest dreams. And that’s the way David’s life worked out. He was and is very lucky.
As further proof of his luck, David has lost every one of the stories about Super Pimp and his sidekick Squirt. He has also never had to eat dog food.

Website | Mailing List

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‘The Sales Crime Policeman’ Excerpt:

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a marriage.” She shrugged and looked away through a door leading further back into her house. “I wouldn’t exactly consider the baby in the other room my child.”

Only now, did he remember the baby from the other day. “You wouldn’t?”

“No,” she said, “They’re not human. They’re machines. They seem to have become quite popular over the past year or two. Don’t you have one? You certainly dress fashionable.”

“No,” he said quickly, “I want something a little more real in my life.” He was trying to be suggestive but didn’t realize he was being critical until after he saw her expression. “Are you happy? You’ve been married for…” His sentence trailed into a blank for her to fill in.

“Please,” she shook her head and smiled softly. “I’m not married. It’s not really marriage. I think of it more as having a spouse. I have a spouse. I have a child. I have a house. They’re all not really that much different, if you think about it.”

“Shouldn’t they be?” he couldn’t help asking her.

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